God loves me because I'm UGLY

Now i cant be the only person in the world who has noticed that all the Bible bashing red sea pedestrians (usually in America) are  FUGGING UGLY.
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Do they look in a mirror aged around 5 years and say " yep I'm a minger, I must be a Christian, i think i'd better go to church on sunday and drink watered down tesco wine and eat rice paper flying saucers (without the sherbet in the middle, the vicar eats the sherbet)
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But dont think thats the end of it, oh no my ugly Christian child, a dreary life is then mapped out for you only mingling with the other ugly families in your neighbourhood...and then theres more to come... the instant its decided that there's no hope for you the ugly kid, your fat Aunty Edna will make you a tasteless nylon outfit (usually pale blue with some kind of rinestones) and rush you off to specsavers for a pair of Harry Hill fug specs.
Oh and if you are an ugly kid you will need to pay for guitar lessons too so you can sound as terrible as you look...dont worry mum and dad are uggs too so you can all sing and play crappy music together in matching outfits. With Gods blessing you might even get the chance to have tea and cake with an ugly spotty boy in the village hall jumble sale (if mum agrees)...sex is over rated anyway so you wont miss out on anything in life and you can always wet dream about jesus using you..

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and now for something completely the same, MORE UGLY FAMILIES
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apparently something happened to Daddy ??

Mommy said he had to go away for touching my bum, but I think it was Jesus, I miss him.
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YES I KNOW ITS PALE BLUE AGAIN, aunty Edna had a whole roll of FUG BLUE FABRIC to use up.

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We wasnt sure who jim Einert was at first, but he said he needed two dead ugly folk to make him look good, so for £5 we agreed to be in the photo.
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A vision of Heaven..............Alan Carr will be thrilled that heaven is definately pink. ..............................................................................................

Aunty Edna had just a few meters of FUG blue fabric leftover so she had no choice but to join the band, shame to waste it after norman had paid for all those accordian lessons with uncle sid. Plus she got a new pair of boots that needed breaking in.
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Just a quick plug for my fav boy band the "house breakers"

album available in the foyer, if you break in after dark, lock your car.
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I thought god was dead, after all he was a killer, didnt they fry him ?

apparently the guy preaching had a stutter, he wasnt really AAAllen and its MILLER you moron !
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I'm so pleased that lesbians are getting something at last, the church so often leaves them out. ..........................

Another good reason to bring your kids up in town, you never know whats lurking out there in the country.
Nice sweaters boys but ditch the porn star whiskers dead unfashionable.
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NO COMMENT...that fugging knitted wig has done me in..please send me a copy of that knitting pattern,
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WOW god will make me a ninja...I'm joining church tonight KILL BILL HERE I COME
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WHAT IS IT ABOUT CHRISTIANS AND FUGGING EYES ????
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The crocodile was terrifed, hook was arrested and mama got a brandnew band, the stolen midgets went back to the ophanage.

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see...i told you heaven was pink, vicars are so with it these days
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apparent jesus couldnt drum, he just fiddled with goats so they kept in in the band.

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oh goody just what america needed, another ugly family with bad eyesight and bow ties.
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ARE YOU STARTING TO BELIEVE ? christians, bad eyes, I'm not making it up HERES THE PROOF
Jesus loves the ugly and inflicts poor eyesight and bad dress sense on them...poor buggers.
I'm so glad Jesus doesnt love me, i hate glasses.
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I dont believe it ...........

bad eyes and fugging blue outfits again, i rest my case.