Cheese on vinyl

Personally I prefer my cheese on toast but what the fug, gotta love these albums

Album translates as "BUY VIC'S RUGS" garanteed to get you a walk on part in Father Ted.
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You gotta hand it to the Winehouse family its not just Amy and her dad making a killing, Mums in on the act too now.
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Oh Joycey babe what can we say.... WE LOVED YOU IN TOOTSY
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When love is right just head for brokeback mountain.,..YEE HAA
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I knew he wasnt really dead
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What a true preformer, he honestly knitted the lurex two piece skirt suit himself , then dragged the piano into his butlins holiday chalet  and put on worzles singing head, all to entertain you...your a star in my eyes .
still trying to buy volume one Mike ? sold out everywhere, has your mum got it on 78 ?  What !! it is your mum, so sorry my mistake Edna.

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dont be silly
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HOLY CRAP..the things Diana Ross will do to get an album in the charts thesedays.
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oh sweet...the pig has a pet

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And for my next rick, tommy cooper in a coffin. Big thanks to Edna for loan of the teacosies.
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You'll be please to know that Dave was finally arrested and now stars in his own prison cooking show "canabals like it sweet". ...................

MORE CHEESE PLEASE

Being a ruthless nasty fugging bitch I just cant get enough of these cheesy albums,
 I mean who would have believed that pretending to play a writing desk in your back garden whilst being an old trouser fumbler could get you a worldwide recording contract, ROCK ON JOSEPH

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WELL DONE KENNETH

Who the hell requested him should have a sharp knitting needle inserted sideways, but be fair, after the 70's ugly ginger porn star market crashed Ken though he'd never work again, so good luck Kenny babe.
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Fortunately Gary sold 1 album (to me) it helped with his bus fare to the eye hospital, his Dad said "we're thinking of giving Gary a broken leg for his next album"
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if i was a gay dog i'd have bought it, woof woof just look at that tongue.
and an extra treat for gay dogs everywhere, ENJOY

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at least he has the sense to get ricketts to go with his wonky eye,  cant help feeling that Gary could have picked up a few tips for this little singers afflictions, nice symphathy touch robertino
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, I hope to touch them all in concert this saturday in the secure nonces wing of parkhurst jail.
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With Gods love we can all be ambassadors of the fat ugly boys pork pie club
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I don't know Julie, but I'd guess that her 16th birthday included a cheap hotel room, liquor and a morning of regret
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COME ON..if you ran an old folks home and thought you could make a few quid exploiting retarded fat pensioners, you'd do it like a shot. Why do you think the warden at the back is grinning ?
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You cant fool me, thats Jimmy Carr sitting on his girlfriends lap, i wonder why she calls him ricky ? perhaps jimmy is his stage name, i know he talks to trees

God loves me because I'm UGLY

Now i cant be the only person in the world who has noticed that all the Bible bashing red sea pedestrians (usually in America) are  FUGGING UGLY.
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Do they look in a mirror aged around 5 years and say " yep I'm a minger, I must be a Christian, i think i'd better go to church on sunday and drink watered down tesco wine and eat rice paper flying saucers (without the sherbet in the middle, the vicar eats the sherbet)
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But dont think thats the end of it, oh no my ugly Christian child, a dreary life is then mapped out for you only mingling with the other ugly families in your neighbourhood...and then theres more to come... the instant its decided that there's no hope for you the ugly kid, your fat Aunty Edna will make you a tasteless nylon outfit (usually pale blue with some kind of rinestones) and rush you off to specsavers for a pair of Harry Hill fug specs.
Oh and if you are an ugly kid you will need to pay for guitar lessons too so you can sound as terrible as you look...dont worry mum and dad are uggs too so you can all sing and play crappy music together in matching outfits. With Gods blessing you might even get the chance to have tea and cake with an ugly spotty boy in the village hall jumble sale (if mum agrees)...sex is over rated anyway so you wont miss out on anything in life and you can always wet dream about jesus using you..

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and now for something completely the same, MORE UGLY FAMILIES
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apparently something happened to Daddy ??

Mommy said he had to go away for touching my bum, but I think it was Jesus, I miss him.
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YES I KNOW ITS PALE BLUE AGAIN, aunty Edna had a whole roll of FUG BLUE FABRIC to use up.

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We wasnt sure who jim Einert was at first, but he said he needed two dead ugly folk to make him look good, so for £5 we agreed to be in the photo.
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A vision of Heaven..............Alan Carr will be thrilled that heaven is definately pink. ..............................................................................................

Aunty Edna had just a few meters of FUG blue fabric leftover so she had no choice but to join the band, shame to waste it after norman had paid for all those accordian lessons with uncle sid. Plus she got a new pair of boots that needed breaking in.
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Just a quick plug for my fav boy band the "house breakers"

album available in the foyer, if you break in after dark, lock your car.
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I thought god was dead, after all he was a killer, didnt they fry him ?

apparently the guy preaching had a stutter, he wasnt really AAAllen and its MILLER you moron !
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I'm so pleased that lesbians are getting something at last, the church so often leaves them out. ..........................

Another good reason to bring your kids up in town, you never know whats lurking out there in the country.
Nice sweaters boys but ditch the porn star whiskers dead unfashionable.
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NO COMMENT...that fugging knitted wig has done me in..please send me a copy of that knitting pattern,
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WOW god will make me a ninja...I'm joining church tonight KILL BILL HERE I COME
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WHAT IS IT ABOUT CHRISTIANS AND FUGGING EYES ????
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The crocodile was terrifed, hook was arrested and mama got a brandnew band, the stolen midgets went back to the ophanage.

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see...i told you heaven was pink, vicars are so with it these days
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apparent jesus couldnt drum, he just fiddled with goats so they kept in in the band.

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oh goody just what america needed, another ugly family with bad eyesight and bow ties.
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ARE YOU STARTING TO BELIEVE ? christians, bad eyes, I'm not making it up HERES THE PROOF
Jesus loves the ugly and inflicts poor eyesight and bad dress sense on them...poor buggers.
I'm so glad Jesus doesnt love me, i hate glasses.
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I dont believe it ...........

bad eyes and fugging blue outfits again, i rest my case.

Why shit rhymes with knit

Utterly revolting fug...nice hat though

When i said shit knit i didnt mean real shit, but thank you Mrs Bored for sending in this photo of your hard work, its delightful

obviously you knitted the gay dog to go with it, hope you picked it up with your knitted pooper scooper and put it in your knitted bag and then placed it in the knitted doggy doo bin like a good knitty citizen.

My mum made me a lesbian, if you get the wool she'll make you one too.

I found this bag of shit wool so i made ???

There comes a time in every knitters life when some well meaning fugging relative asks you to knit them a turkey, I mean who hasnt been asked to do it, be honest, I knit turkeys all the time, but what I really object too is those FUGGING glasses !!
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and here we are again...

another child molester in disguise ...believe me it works...the police never caught him, but they did give Brian Blessed a hard time.
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I can see why blogging is fug addictive, You can vent your spleen and no one will ever read it, just like Anne Franks diary really.

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I found this bag of shit acrylic yarn so i knitted this outfit to look a pratt in...brilliant for dusting cobwebs off the ceiling when i'm on my pogo stick.

Pervert knitting for the whole family

It must be so much fun when perversion becomes something the whole family can enjoy together...grab your knitting needles girls and let the kids join in !!!

oh goody its family pervets day !! must be Ian Brady's birthday club. ARREST THEM NOW !!!

Of course a true perverted knitter makes designs to attract kids too, and what little boy on his way home from school in the dark could resist this cute pokemon jumping out of his rusty ford escort and dragging him in to the bushes, WELL DONE MRS CROCHETWEAR DESIGNER bravo

Knitted fugging man tits !!